Random Survival Tips for College

It’s 6:30am…. Less than 6 hours ago I was crawling into bed and now I’m brutally awakened by my boyfriends annoying iPhone Alarm going off – ya, the annoying beeping one, sounds like the pentagon just launched 50 nuclear missiles and we all have 5 minutes to live.

Gracefully falling out of bed to put some clothes on and Meander to school while my boyfriend goes to the job site- where fortunately he doesn’t have to deal with incompetent student drivers. After successfully making myself look not like a zombie… I jump in my truck to make the 30 minute, 2 mile journey to school; got to enjoy 8am classes and 13,000 trying to find parking.

Judge me or not – I believe that if my Truck is BIGGER than your Prius – you should yield to me. But for some reason I encounter way too many “earth friendly” people who cut me off, and flip the bird. – Trust me, my goal in life is not own a truck to piss hippies off, but for some reason, us truck drivers are out to get you! -Bumper to bumper traffic, and I finally Snag a spot next to a BMW and a lifted 24 valve Cummins.

Are you a little confused yet? I stated previously I live in BOZEMAN MT. And I could imagine your thinking – Middle-no-where-meth-capital- USA.. who drives beamers and huge trucks. WRONG. Bozeman just happens to be the biggest/richest trust fund baby city ever. That’s right, no one worked for their money – Mommy and Daddy cut those checks every month so they go to school.

Back to my point – After much consideration I decide to move my truck to a different area of vehicles so I don’t get a nasty note I door dinged someone’s perfect little daughters BMW.

Next thing, its 40 degree’s out and for some reason these girls convinced themselves a short floral dress is the way to go. NO…. that is not the way to go!, especially when you are wearing neon blue shorts under them with a green bando. Did Helen Keller dress you?! No, so use some of your mommy’s money and buy a normal length dress that doesn’t make you look like a stripper. I’m going to start throwing stripper biscuits at you.

It absolutely mind Boggles me that you have all this money and can’t withstand to cover yourself up! Try a blazer – dark wash jeans and reasonable heels. What is on your head? A Rats personal home? – brush it out and put it back. Maybe someday someone will take you seriously.

 

Im not quite what this post is about….

Advertisements